Darkest Destiny
by Julie Horwitz
Summary: Anakin Skywalker, now Darth Vader, looks back upon his life.


Disclaimer:  
The following is a work of fanfiction. All characters and situations belonging to the Star Wars saga are copyrighted to Lucasfilm Ltd.

Author's Notes:  
This story is very special to me. It is my first completed Star Wars work. Star Wars is what inspired me to write in the first place. Going all the way back to third grade, when I "discovered" the classic trilogy, I decided I wanted to be a writer and, more than anything, I wanted to write a Star Wars novel.  
Funny how that worked out.  
Anyway, after years of writing for various fandoms, I've finally written something for my first love. I hope to write a few more.  
All comments and questions may be sent to me at: jhorwitz  
Thank you for reading and I hope you enjoy the story.

Darkest Destiny  
by  
Julie Horwitz

When I was a slave, I was free.

Contradictory as it seems, this statement is the absolute truth. My life was happy. I had Mom, friends, and, best of all, pod racing. How I loved pod racing. And even my work in Watto's shop was enjoyable. Working with machines, big and small, building and repairing them, was my first love, even before pod racing. I had a gift and everyone knew it. It should have all been enough.

But it wasn't. I wanted more.

I wanted to travel the galaxy, riding in starships and visiting every planet. I wanted adventure and to meet beings of every race. I wanted to be loved by everyone and thought of as a hero. Most of all, I wanted to be a Jedi.

As a Jedi Knight, I would have been able to do what I wanted, when I wanted. Or so I had thought as a little boy. I would have had to answer to no one. I wouldn't have belonged to anyone. Being a Jedi equaled freedom. Freedom for me, Mom, and all of my friends. The freedom I thought I didn't have...

But none of that really mattered. What mattered was that I knew I belonged among the Jedi. Deep down, I knew I was destined to become one of them. Why? Because I was special. And how did I know this? Because everyone told me so. And if everyone knew I was special, then I knew it had to be true. (How else could I be the only human capable of pod racing?) And if I was special, then I deserved a special life. And there was nothing more special than being a Jedi Knight.

So I waited for the universe to send my special destiny to me. I had no doubts that it would one day arrive. And arrive it did. And with it came a girl named Padmé.

Padmé. The girl I became immediately infatuated with. The woman I grew to love. The wife I ended up destroying in my quest to save her...

When I met her, I knew she was as special as I was. I had never met anyone like her. She had a beauty that went far deeper than her skin. It radiated from within her. It made me ask her if she was an angel. And although she denied it, she was. In more ways than she could ever know. Ways I should have told her when I had the chance...

I achieved my "destiny" as a Jedi only to find it more stifling than my childhood as a slave. I was a blind fool. I really was more free than I had ever been. I was just too stupid to see it. Instead I felt like a prisoner, trapped by all the rules and regulations that were there for a reason. So I did something that only made sense at the time. I rebelled.

My rebellion was small and didn't interfere with my training too much, but it was large enough to exasperate Obi-Wan and the Council. I disobeyed minor orders, questioned the Code, and performed any number of slight infractions. Nothing, of course, that would jeopardize my "destiny," but things that would demonstrate my frustration with the fact that reality did not reflect my dreams. I was, after all, the "Chosen One." I had to become a Jedi.

From the time I entered the Temple to the day I threw everything away because of Palpatine, the man I had thought was my friend, I had been told of the prophecy of the "Chosen One." The one who would bring "balance" to the Force. And I was apparently that one. Which, of course, made sense. Because, as I had known from the time I was very small, I was special. And special people always had special destinies.

And I also believed, because I was special, that I was better. Better than everyone. Smarter. More powerful. The best Jedi the galaxy had ever seen.

And because I was the "best," I thought the Code shouldn't apply to me. Whatever I wanted, I should have had.

How wrong I was.

In the end, all I did was destroy myself and everything and everyone I had ever loved.

The "Chosen One" indeed.

The pain of looking back of what I had done, of what I have become, is unbearable, but it is all I have left of those I loved. Mom. Obi-Wan. Padmé.

The unborn child I killed in a moment of anger.

My life is empty now. My existence is meaningless. And, in truth, it doesn't even belong to me. One man's whim and I will be gone. It is only because of him that I still live.

If what I am can be called living.

I am his servant. He calls me his apprentice, but he had taught and teaches me nothing. He claims to be my friend, but he is nothing more than my master. He controls me. Whatever he says, I do. He orders and I obey. There is no freedom, only what he tells me I can do.

I am his slave.


End file.
